Blastocystys Hominis (TIG)

So, funny story.

I finally went to a clinic today, to Primeros Pasos, which is a non-profit clinic that offers low cost medical service. They have volunteer doctors from the States, so I got service in English. And the service was good! My doctor, Rebecca from Philadelphia, was like so awesome I can’t even describe it.

Anyway. I arrived at the clinic around nine in the morning. I was the only gringo patient there. I saw my doctor, explained my symptoms. They asked me to give them a stool sample. I had expected it. Well, you know what? I’ve been shitting my brains out for the past six days (last time this morning), not being able to eat anything. But when I need to give a sample, do I feel like taking a dump? No!

I found a little shop close by to buy something to eat – thing that usually made my stomach go crazy. There was a young girl there who kindly sold me a chocolate covered doughnut and a small bag of chips. I ate them. Nothing. I went back and bought two more doughnuts (she must have thought I was into sweets or something..). I waited. Half an hour, an hour. Nothing. How ironic! It was like the things inside my stomach knew: if we let her give the sample, they will kill us…

Then my doctor, very kindly, gave me some of her instant coffee. I drank half a cup. And yes! I felt something coming, run to the bathroom. I succeeded! How awesome.

I found Stieg Larssen’s book The girl who played with fire on the shelf, took it and went outside to wait for the results. A minute after my doctor came out and told me… that my sample was not pure (there’s a story there, but I will skip it) and I need to give another one. Nooooooooo!! You can’t do this to me!

Oh well, after two more cups of instant coffee and the feeling of wanting to puke by just the smell of it I succeeded again. I took the book and waited again. I got to page 20. Couldn’t really remember half of what I was reading. My doctor called me in.

And she said: “You have ameba.”

Ameba. I have an ameba?? Where am I, in a third world country?? (You betcha!) Well, parasites are common here. That’s actually probably the most common reason why gringos come to the clinic. But my case, she said, seemed bad. The worst she’s ever seen actually (and she’s seen a lot!). She said that she was surprised I am not dehydrated or in more pain (I have been in pain, trust me).

But the good news is, it’s treatable. Maximum dose for me. At least three days before I even start to feel better. Awesomeness.

Blastocystys Hominis. That’s the little bastard multiplying inside of me. But hey, like they told me about a hundred times at the clinic, TIG. This Is Guatemala.


(Could not find any good quote about ameba)